The Day Shamrock Tried to Give Me a Heart Attack

Two summers ago, our neighbor had a small dog named Cooper.

Cooper was also an escape artist.

That summer, he made a habit of breaking out of his yard and visiting ours — which, unfortunately for him, was currently occupied by three dogs: Copper, Raven, and Shamrock.

One afternoon, I was sitting on the front porch when it happened. Cooper had gotten away from his people again and was thoroughly enjoying his romp through the woods around our property.

Then, from the side yard, came a sound that can only be described as absolute carnage.

Growling. Roaring. The unmistakable noises of what I believed was a dog being violently torn apart.

My heart stopped.

Because about a week earlier, Shamrock had killed a baby groundhog. Which meant that when I heard those sounds, my brain skipped straight past logic and landed immediately on the worst possible conclusion:

Oh my God. Shamrock murdered Cooper.

The dog is dead.

The neighbors are going to sue us.

Without thinking, I jumped — actually jumped — off the porch and ran around the side of the house, fully prepared to witness a crime scene.

Instead, I found chaos.

Copper, Raven, Shamrock, and Cooper were all bouncing around the yard having the time of their lives.

Because what I had heard was not violence.

It was wolfhound play music.

If you’ve never heard it before, it sounds exactly like something that was once alive is being ripped apart. To the dogs, however, it’s just Tuesday.

Shamrock saw me and immediately came galloping over, absolutely beaming, with a huge smile and his tail spinning like a helicopter.

The expression on his face said very clearly:

“MOM!!! DID YOU SEE?? WE MADE A FRIEND!!”

Overwhelmed with relief, I dropped to my knees and wrapped my arms around him.

Which turned out to be perfect timing.

Because the alleged murder victim, Cooper, trotted right over too.

From that position, I was able to grab his collar before he launched himself back into the chaos.

Crisis averted.

Heart attack narrowly avoided.

And Shamrock remained blissfully unaware that he had just aged me approximately ten years in under thirty seconds.